this story is called, "CORNED DOGS" part 1.

the small dog sitting on the grass reminded me i had not put on sunscreen and i returned to the bathroom to apply the lotion to my shoulders, face and neck. when i returned to the beach there was a family of about 12 using my towel to wipe their feet before they entered the water, this struck me as very strange but i knew that 12 to 1 would be poor odds because i had just lost a lot of money at the horse track, buying hotdogs.

after reviving my towel i found a shady spot beside a large man, he smelled of sweat and his shirt said "help" on the front. i didn't mind his smell because it kind of masked the scent of family feet on my towel and it also reminded me of being at my grandparent's. they had a large pig named oval and i used to try to dress him in my grandmother's clothes because he sounded the way that she sounded, when she was asleep.

the beach was a funny place to me, mostly because of all the clowns, but also because i have a good sense of humour, so i have been told. i sat in the shade of the fat man and listened to the memories of my grandmother snoring and thought about how much i would enjoy a hotdog. the beach is a wonderful place to eat hotdogs as well. i decided to walk for a while until i found a hotdog. 

there was a group of mathletes sitting at a picnic bench, 8 of them, they were eating pizza. i picked up the pace a little and jogged past them and shouted "I'M LATE!" so as to seem like i had a good excuse for moving quickly. they did not notice me. i could have eaten the whole pizza but they were sharing it, 8 pieces, one each. i was not in mathletes but i knew how to be mathletic.

i kept up the pace jogging for a bit because i felt a bit like i was late for something. i then decided i needed a drink. i saw a young couple sitting on their beach towel, they had their feet in the sand though and they had a cooler beside them. i sat behind them. i found a plastic soldier in the sand and named him General Garbage. i waited for the young lovers to kiss then interrupted them.

"hi excuse me, do you have anything to drink? i think i may have swallowed a piece of plastic"

they were very nice even though i had intruded on their awkward kiss and they opened their cooler to see if they had some soda left.

they did.

"thank you" i said and drank their soda.

"i think that's got it"

i gave them back the empty bottle and walked further down the beach because i still wanted hot dogs. usually there would be lots of people having barbeques and that kind of thing on the beach and you could smell them or at least see the smoke from the coals. i went to a higher spot and looked for smoke. i saw a woman wearing a white dress smoking a cigarette. she had lipstick on and it made it look like her mouth was creeping onto her chin. she was old but not as old as my grandmother. i saw two kids burning ants and pretending to be politicians. i looked back toward the parking lot and there was a large group of people standing around a truck that had smoke coming from it.