today april 18. my birthday.

its been roughly four days since my last post, it took me three hours to remember my password loging in, which made me realize it had been more than four days since my last post. its been a long four days, but all in all i feel good about it. the airplane ride from calgary was swift and i arrived in victoria on time. maybe early. about ten minutes early. there is nothing quite as satisfying as that. but the island was a good time, and i feel that i took it in as honestly as one could considering the circumstances. which were simple and non threatening. and it passed and it felt long and it will last for a long time too. but now i find myself home in sylvan in bed, wasting hours, lacking sleep and wanting more, time away, time above and time below. the prairies are bleak now and seem to hold to it, the trees sway with want for leaves and the snow clings to the grass like a sorry dog at his heel knowing he just shit on your favorite sweater. but i'm in my bed in my underwear that are unnatural and uncomfortable, and its warm here and i like it in my bed. its a nice big bed and i don't take advantage of its size.  there are clothes on my floor and my foot is asleep and i know now i should be too.